alright today's the day.
as much as i wished i never had to have this conversation it needs to happen
it's difficult when you've been connected with people somewhat in a certain place and then you're not anymore
it's hard feeling like well if someone cared A) would've happend and B) would've happend too
i realize more than anything right now i'm very concious of the journey i'm on. For the first time in a long time i'm being honest with myself and others about how i feel, where i'm at spiritually.
i guess we'll see if when push comes to shove and the real reasons and honesty is out there if the people who said they'd be there still will.
pretty much put your money where your mouth is
so im going to try today and not freak out and over think what might happen tonite.
i want to be herd
i want to be understood
i don't want to be told to be something else
i know i will not hurt anyone intentionally
no more bs.... i don't feel safe there. i don't feel confortable, i don't feel the presence of god often, i have a hard time sitting under things i don't understand and i have a harder time feeling the judgemental eyes of people looking at me wondering where i've been.
pretty much this says we all need to be honest and pull our shit together
i'm just pulling a little bit of it together today
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I would not expect too much from other people ... just know that everyone in your life will let you down at sometime ... that has been my experience personally. But once we realize that no one is perfect just like we it is easier to accept others for where they are at and see life from their perspective...
ReplyDeleteThere was a very pivotal moment in my life one night and it had too do with my dad...
I was around a bunch of my family who where putting him down and saying how horrible he was and then I felt grieved because he was not there even to defend himself ...
I felt what he felt and had to leave the room and I was in tears ... that was the beginning for me to see that there are sometimes different was to view the same situation.
Now I am not saying this to excuse people from hurting you or saying or doing things to you that may hurt you but to encourage you that life is life and our perspective can sometimes change to view the same situation from a different angle.
I believe that there are always different ways to view a certain situation ... anyhow not sure if this helps or hinders ... and by the way i do not know anything anyhow ... this may help or not but whatever
so you already know your journey inspires me but i will tell you again...
ReplyDeleteyour journey inspires me.
thanks for blogging. sometimes i feel like i don't what to comment cause it feels like i'm reading my own blog.
anyway, your awesome fadie.
thanks for that
*D*